god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Randomize