the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
