don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
