Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she pinky promised me she was 18
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
