Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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