Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
