i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
