did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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