once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
