Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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