my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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