I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
