wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
