You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
