these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
