Your mouth is God's brothel.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Come on in and take your pants off
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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