hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize