Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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