just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
