So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize