Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
