She said her name was "party"
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i can't believe i had my finger in that
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize