U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
