the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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