Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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