Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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