He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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