Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
