So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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