you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize