You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize