how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
