I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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