Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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