Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
