I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
