Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
