I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
