How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
