I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
