It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
