I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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