No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
