the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
