Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize