As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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