You're a womanizer and a bitch.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
