i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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