Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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