I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
