In the future we'll all be gay
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
