well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
