So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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