How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My vagina is officially offended.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
