Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
