I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
